Starting a new career as an adult is hard because you’ll need to get used to being a loser in a pool of professionals who have been doing it for years, if not decades. The constant comparison to other artists can take a poll on your mental health. It hits harder if you were successful in your career and now have to begin at square one again and compete with everybody who also just started.
Lack of skill in the beginning hits quite hard on the ego, especially in combination with those beautiful, bright images that the brain produces and that the hand is not yet there to replicate. I can’t even pull a straight line, no joke. Do I know how to paint certain parts or even the whole picture at the very beginning? No. Does it stop me from doing it anyway? Also, no.
Seriously, I don’t even have the tools I need. I paint with the cheapest brushes that never hold the form, and smudge with my old makeup brushes, lol. You can see it as a limitation, but you can also turn it around and start to see it as a creativity booster, as you constantly need to look out for the solution. I find myself looking around my studio and apartment and finding new unconventional tools that give me unusual textures. It would’ve been too easy if I’d had the money to buy every art tool or pigment there is. It also keeps me motivated to sell more artwork.
Literally. My followers are my friends or people who know me (never make this mistake and just start a new account). I can only imagine what they think of me now that I suddenly, out of nowhere, started to post art content. Moreover, you’ll need to go miles to explain to the algorithm that it should also start to care. Especially if you were anything like me and never posted a thing, and now you suddenly want all the followers there are.
You’ll confuse the 5 people who see your content while you try out every single art style there is because you want to try them all. Or you’ll most probably hit the paralyze because you’ll have so many ideas but no time to paint them. I have this very questionable tendency to start an artwork and put it aside as soon as I’m not sure how to paint it correctly. Why is it bad? Well, you grow to have a full studio of unfinished artwork that you can’t sell or show anyone. At the same time, invested time and effort are gone.
Filming myself? Filming myself while painting? Shall I do my makeup every morning to paint in the next room? How do all of these aesthetic painters paint in a white, fluffy dress without spilling a paint drop? Nobody told me that so much about my art process will be standing in front of my phone camera and showing my artwork off as if we’re on a Turkish bazaar. I guess it’s part of the process nowadays.
But does it all stop me from doing art? No. Never.
Yes, turning over your whole life as an adult is hard, but there’s also magic in it as well. Not so many people have the courage to follow their dreams. So, consider yourself proud of what you’re pulling through! ✨
Love you,
Lorena